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sg1_creativity on August 15, 2004.
Fandom: Stargate: SG-1
Title: Being Daniel Jackson
Author: Em
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~500
Spoilers: Season 7, "Fallen"
Challenge Inspired by lyrics: "Wanted to belong here,/But something felt so wrong here,/So I pray,/I could break away."
Notes: Despite the way the first paragraph reads this is not Jack/Daniel slash. Also, I did not rewatch "Fallen" before writing this and therefore royally screwed up the chronology of that episode. Despite my intense desire to write in cannon, I have left the chronology as it was originally written.
Awards: Second Place for Week 9 atsg1_creativity
Being Daniel
This isn’t home. At least that’s what they tell me. Jack says we’re friends, but from the look in his eyes, the body language, the obvious if-I-actually-touch-him-he-might-break hesitancy tells me it’s something more. That I'm more important to him than just friendship. I don’t feel gay, and Jack being a Colonel leads me to think he’s not either. So what is it?
I fumble with the glasses Sam gave me. I don’t really know what to do with them. She seemed so proud when she gave them to me. Like giving me—apparently—my glasses would somehow make “Daniel” come back.
Sam casts me these long looks, her eyes wide and imploring. Is there some sort of more-than-friends relationship here? She feels familiar—safe—but how can I be sure? I woke up alone and naked. Do I really know these people? I sure as hell don’t know the man they say I am.
I wrinkle my nose and slip the glasses on. They feel heavy.
Teal’c is hard to read—quiet and unexpressive. Or rather very expressive, but you have to know how to read him. How do I know that? How do I know that he’s glad to see me even though he hasn’t said anything—has hardly looked at me—but I can tell he’s relieved. Even that he missed me. He and I aren’t—?
Why is it that I assume that everyone is in love with me?
“Daniel?”
Jack startles me. He keeps doing that. He appears behind me and I don’t know if I didn’t hear him because I’m lost in my thoughts or because he’s just that good.
“Daniel.”
“Yes, Jack?” I cross my arms over my chest. It’s natural and feels like something familiar. Is this my usual stance with him?
He smirks. I take that to mean I’m acting like Daniel.
“We’re ready to go. If you—are.” Jack gestures up and down my body, palms upwards. He rests them back on his gun again. The gun is obviously a natural extension of his body. His stance seems as familiar to me as my own and I can’t help but think we’ve had this conversation before.
“I—” I don’t know what to say—‘No,’ ‘I’ll think about it,’ ‘Okay, I’ll follow you—wherever’?
He takes a step closer and for a brief second I see all the uncertainty leave his eyes. This is Jack. The confidence mingled with concern. This is Jack. I know it deep in my being. Even if I don’t remember him—I know him—I want to know him again.
I want to be Daniel.
That’s what I see in these people. I see Daniel. I see what I was—what I will be—what I am. I see my love for them reflected back to me. I see family.
“Okay.” I uncross my arms and step forward. “Let’s go.”
“You’re sure?” Jack lets the gun dangle from the strap over his shoulder. I think he expected more of a fight.
“Yeah.” I hesitantly place my hand on his shoulder. “Jack. I’m ready to go home.”
~Comments and feedback are appreciated.
sg1_creativity on August 15, 2004.Fandom: Stargate: SG-1
Title: Being Daniel Jackson
Author: Em
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~500
Spoilers: Season 7, "Fallen"
Challenge Inspired by lyrics: "Wanted to belong here,/But something felt so wrong here,/So I pray,/I could break away."
Notes: Despite the way the first paragraph reads this is not Jack/Daniel slash. Also, I did not rewatch "Fallen" before writing this and therefore royally screwed up the chronology of that episode. Despite my intense desire to write in cannon, I have left the chronology as it was originally written.
Awards: Second Place for Week 9 at
sg1_creativityThis isn’t home. At least that’s what they tell me. Jack says we’re friends, but from the look in his eyes, the body language, the obvious if-I-actually-touch-him-he-might-break hesitancy tells me it’s something more. That I'm more important to him than just friendship. I don’t feel gay, and Jack being a Colonel leads me to think he’s not either. So what is it?
I fumble with the glasses Sam gave me. I don’t really know what to do with them. She seemed so proud when she gave them to me. Like giving me—apparently—my glasses would somehow make “Daniel” come back.
Sam casts me these long looks, her eyes wide and imploring. Is there some sort of more-than-friends relationship here? She feels familiar—safe—but how can I be sure? I woke up alone and naked. Do I really know these people? I sure as hell don’t know the man they say I am.
I wrinkle my nose and slip the glasses on. They feel heavy.
Teal’c is hard to read—quiet and unexpressive. Or rather very expressive, but you have to know how to read him. How do I know that? How do I know that he’s glad to see me even though he hasn’t said anything—has hardly looked at me—but I can tell he’s relieved. Even that he missed me. He and I aren’t—?
Why is it that I assume that everyone is in love with me?
“Daniel?”
Jack startles me. He keeps doing that. He appears behind me and I don’t know if I didn’t hear him because I’m lost in my thoughts or because he’s just that good.
“Daniel.”
“Yes, Jack?” I cross my arms over my chest. It’s natural and feels like something familiar. Is this my usual stance with him?
He smirks. I take that to mean I’m acting like Daniel.
“We’re ready to go. If you—are.” Jack gestures up and down my body, palms upwards. He rests them back on his gun again. The gun is obviously a natural extension of his body. His stance seems as familiar to me as my own and I can’t help but think we’ve had this conversation before.
“I—” I don’t know what to say—‘No,’ ‘I’ll think about it,’ ‘Okay, I’ll follow you—wherever’?
He takes a step closer and for a brief second I see all the uncertainty leave his eyes. This is Jack. The confidence mingled with concern. This is Jack. I know it deep in my being. Even if I don’t remember him—I know him—I want to know him again.
I want to be Daniel.
That’s what I see in these people. I see Daniel. I see what I was—what I will be—what I am. I see my love for them reflected back to me. I see family.
“Okay.” I uncross my arms and step forward. “Let’s go.”
“You’re sure?” Jack lets the gun dangle from the strap over his shoulder. I think he expected more of a fight.
“Yeah.” I hesitantly place my hand on his shoulder. “Jack. I’m ready to go home.”
~Comments and feedback are appreciated.
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no subject
Date: 2005-03-24 12:49 am (UTC)Wonderful work. Let me hunt for more.
Icarus
no subject
Date: 2005-03-26 11:49 pm (UTC)Thank you. I'm glad that you enjoy Being Daniel. I was rather disappointed by it when I rewatched "Fallen" and realized that I had gotten it wrong. But at least the insight is there and the emotion is right. And I can't help laughing at the line about Daniel wondering why he thinks everyone is in love with him. *snicker*
It took me a while to realize it, but I'm actually a fan of your work. Shy Guy is one of the things that prompted me to pull back on some of the emotion that was more apparent in an earlier draft of Slow Burn. And yeah, I do sometimes like reading the very obvious "Jack and Daniel are so in loooooove" type of fics--but there are a lot of them. And I'm not sure that the characters would actually act like that. So reading your work kind of gave me permission to take on the more masculine approach and hold back on the emotion. Becuase yes, underneath it all I think they do *ahem* "care for each other more than they should" (see, "Divide and Conquer" is good for something), they also aren't going to admit it--uh, pretty much ever.
Since you've been so kind to write feedback for me, I'll be sure to go and leave feedback for you. Oh, and you've encouraged me enough to start working on another piece. So thank you. Really.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-27 02:05 am (UTC)I like the "true love" and "old married couple" fics (the latter especially), but it's been done and very well, too. I usually write what I want to read and can't find anywhere.
"Divide And Conquer" what? Teal'c voice: I'm not familiar with this particular story.
Icarus