HP Fic: The German I Never Learned (R)

[what_works]

Fandom: Stargate: SG-1/Harry Potter
Title: Four Fics I Would Never Write: iv. The German I Never Learned
Author: Em
Rating: R (for sex)
Word Count: ~240
Pairing: Remus/Roadie
Challenge: Remus/Roadie, angst
Dedication: For my sekrit wife, roadrunner1896 on her birthday. This fic is 100% for you, Roadie.
Notes: When I asked what Roadie'd like in a birthday fic she chose to be difficult, muddled up all her choices, and left me with word soup. I'm a sadistic, stubborn bastard so I took that as a challenge. Which means we have this—Four Fics I Would Never Write. This is Part 4.
Also, I'm using "angst" loosely here. Really, really loosely.



iv. The German I Never Learned


Roadie was quiet until Remus made her come. And then she screamed in German, "[Alli doesn't know any German and is too lazy to get Babel Fish to translate for her!]"

Remus stroked her cheek and breathed into her ear, "[I know. You'd think Alli would have given you some German. She knows how you love it.]" He thrust into her again, sliding even more easily now.

"[Alli's a dorkhead,]" Roadie gasped. Her hands trembled from the intensity of her orgasm. She stroked his cheek, staring into his soft eyes.

He kissed her, running his tongue over her lips. His voice was soft against her neck. "[But she's a great lay.]"

Roadie sighed. "[Oh, definitely. You should go do her when we're done.]" She pushed a strand of hair off his forehead, running her fingers behind his ear. He shuddered.

"[Oh, yeah; was planning on it.]" He kissed her again, lingering. "[You want to join me?]"

Roadie nipped at his lower lip. "[Sure, but you'll need to bring some cocks apples; she never has any fruit.]"

"[But always plenty of jell-o.]" He lightly trailed his fingers down her arm, sending her skin prickling with gooseflesh.

"[We have THING,]" she whispered like a prayer.

"[I promise not to be jealous as long as you let me join in." He thrust into her again, causing her to moan loudly.

He waited for her to nod.

He smiled and winked. "Happy Birthday, Roadie."

All German not translated but instead replaced with what the author deemed "more interesting dialogue."



~Comments and feedback are appreciated.

Comments

[imthelobster.livejournal.com]

ROFLMAO!

[theemdash]

*snicker* I really figured this would only be funny to a handful of people, but for those people it's really funny. *snicker*

[roadrunner1896.livejournal.com]

Hee.

You can always ask me if you need some German translation. You should not ask Babel Fish. Unless you want to get something really funny.

*sexes you and Remus*

[theemdash]

I know I can ask you for German translation, but the point of this was to be insane. Did it work? ;)

I think this is my favorite line: "[We have THING,]" she whispered like a prayer.

*gigglesnuggles*

[roadrunner1896.livejournal.com]

Teehee. That and the part about the apples. ;p

And you being insane always works. I doubt you would be able to function sane.

*snugglegropes*

[theemdash]

Sane is boring, it's true. I liked that I had both "cocks" and "apples." I didn't put in pineapples though. And I almost left of jello, but figured I had to have it.

[roadrunner1896.livejournal.com]

I don't like pineapples anyway. I do love cocks, apples and jello, though.

[akasha-lilian.livejournal.com]

Oh this was hilarious! *ggg*

[theemdash]

*snicker* I'm glad that others find it as funny as I do. I take it you understand the jokes, yes? Apples, jell-o, and THING!

[akasha-lilian.livejournal.com]

Oh yes I do! I've been too much around Roadie not to get the apple, jell-o and thing comments! *ggg* One reason I love her! =)

[theemdash]

There are so many reasons to love her . . .