Fandom: Harry Potter
Title: Uncertain Blindness
Author: Em
Rating: R for sex
Word Count: ~800
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Summary: Hurried steps into the dorm, desperate sex against a wardrobe, they can have whatever they want.
Notes: Special thanks to [livejournal.com profile] momebie for the giving a quick beta.
This is for [livejournal.com profile] batmanboxers who left for a movie wanting to return to some Remus porn and for [livejournal.com profile] sopdetly because I wanted to write something for her today.
Recced: Editor's Choice at [livejournal.com profile] sirius_news

Uncertain Blindness )

~Comments and feedback are asked for.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Title: Kissing Practice
Author: Em
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~2,410
Pairing: Remus/Sirius, James, Peter
Summary: Wind-swept fjords and pillow-fraternization are nothing compared to actually kissing Sirius. Oh, and James shrieks like a prepubescent boy.
Notes: There really aren't enough stories about pillow-fraternization.
Many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] melayneseahawk for the speedy beta.

Kissing Practice )

~Comments and feedback are much better than pillow-fraternization.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Title: Gravid
Author: Em
Rating: R, for sexual suggestions and language
Word Count: ~2120
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Summary: Remus wants to be honest. Sirius just wants Remus.
Notes: I've always wondered how things could go from happy Remus/Sirius to each of them suspecting the other of being the spy. This was a possible take on that.
Many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] katilara for betaing. I had another beta on this fic in 2006, but I can't remember who did it! Thank you for your beta, whomever you are—your comments were very helpful.

Gravid )

~Comments and feedback are gravid.
Fandom: Saiyuki/Harry Potter
Title: Shut Up
Author: Em
Rating: PG-13 for sexual innuendo
Word Count: ~340
Characters: Sanzo, Sirius
Summary: Sanzo's fan for idiots proves useless against one idiot.
Dedication: for [livejournal.com profile] chelle86 who inspires crack!fic regularly
Notes: Originally written as crack comment!fic over a year ago, I'm adding it to the archive for posterity (naturally). First posted here.

Shut Up )

~Comments and feedback never shut me up.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Title: Why Remus No Longer Makes Buns In His Oven
Author: Em
Rating: R for language and sexual situations
Word Count: ~2,300
Pairing: Remus/Sirus
Warnings: mpreg, crack!fic
Summary: In which Sirius proves his stupidity, Remus's brain explodes, James laughs (a lot), and Peter is thankful he's not Remus.
Dedication: for [livejournal.com profile] dragonbetween and [livejournal.com profile] katilara for encouraging this insanity
Notes: Usually when I write a fanfic cliche I break it. This is no exception. XD
Recced: Editor's Choice at [livejournal.com profile] sirius_news
recced by [livejournal.com profile] iamshadow at [livejournal.com profile] accio_rs_fics
recced by [livejournal.com profile] spacefragments at [livejournal.com profile] crack_broom

Why Remus No Longer Makes Buns In His Oven )

~Comments and feedback help temper crack!fic.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Title: Eat Your Words
Author: Em
Rating: R for inappropriate use of chocolate
Word Count: 200
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Summary: Remus promised that one day Sirius would eat his words.
Dedication: for [livejournal.com profile] debs7

Eat Your Words )

~Comment and feedback are like inappropriate chocolate. :D
Fandom: Harry Potter
Title: Novel Abuse
Author: Em
Rating: PG
Word Count: 200
Characters: Remus, Sirius
Summary: Melted chocolate, Remus's book, and Sirius's most innocent look of innocence.
Dedication: for [livejournal.com profile] chelle86

Novel Abuse )

~Comments and feedback are chocolate.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Title: I Believe in Santa Claus
Author: Em
Rating: PG-13 for pranking, language
Word Count: ~4640
Spoilers: Set MWPP era
Characters: Marauders, focus on Remus (pre-Remus/Siris if you are so inclinded to see it)
Summary: Every year the Christmas prank is something special, the Marauders' sixth year is no different.
Dedication: For [livejournal.com profile] debs7, [livejournal.com profile] fairydarling, [livejournal.com profile] fangirljen, [livejournal.com profile] grass_stained, [livejournal.com profile] hope99_31516, [livejournal.com profile] kefira, [livejournal.com profile] morningstar4, [livejournal.com profile] purple_shoes, and [livejournal.com profile] roadrunner1896
Notes: This cracked idea came upon me when writing a highly angsty piece. Be afraid.
Written as part of the 2005 Gift Fic Project for my flist.
Special thanks to [livejournal.com profile] fangirljen for betaing duties.

I Believe in Santa Claus )


~Comments and feedback are better than presents.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Title: Soft Private Places
Author: Em
Rating: NC-17 for sex, slash
Word Count: ~2800
Spoilers: post-OotP AU, set in 2005
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Prompt: Remus/Sirius, angst, continuation of Firewhiskey to Forget
Summary: The bed dips low on the side, but Sirius doesn't lie back. He left the door open and the nighttime chill creeps into their bedroom, destroying the comfortable cocoon Remus created.
Dedication: For [livejournal.com profile] fangirljen, [livejournal.com profile] kefira, [livejournal.com profile] lizardspots, [livejournal.com profile] morningstar4, and [livejournal.com profile] roadrunner1896
Notes: A continuation of Firewhiskey to Forget, a SG-1/Harry Potter crossover. This can be read as a standalone story. When read as a series, this is the third and final part.
Written as part of the 2005 Gift Fic Project for my flist.
Special thanks to [livejournal.com profile] faithsqueen for betaing duties.

Part 1: Firewhiskey to Forget, NC-17, Jack/Sirius
Part 2: Sixteen Hundred Miles, PG-13, Jack/Daniel

Soft Private Places )


~Comments and feedback are appreciated.
Fandom: Stargate: SG-1/Harry Potter
Title: Four Fics I Would Never Write: iii. The Only Thing She Didn't Have Was a Flying Motorcycle
Author: Em
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~950
Characters: Vala, Sirius
Challenge: Vala/Sirius, silly
Summary: Some time after his surprise that space flight was not only probable but customary and her surprise that some magic was real came the understanding that Vala and Sirius were incredibly sloshed.
Dedication: For my sekrit wife, [livejournal.com profile] roadrunner1896 on her birthday
Notes: When I asked what Roadie'd like in a birthday fic she chose to be difficult, muddled up all her choices, and left me with word soup. I'm a sadistic, stubborn bastard so I took that as a challenge. Which means we have this—Four Fics I Would Never Write. This is Part 3.
Also, I am insane and vehemently insist that The Curtain is really just a very oddly-shaped Stargate, hence the logic of Vala and Sirius meeting.


iii. The Only Thing She Didn't Have Was a Flying Motorcycle )


~Comments and feedback are appreciated.
Fandom: Stargate: SG-1/Harry Potter
Title: Four Fics I Would Never Write: i. Firewhiskey to Forget
Author: Em
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~920
Pairing: Jack/Sirius (yes, you read that right), mentions of Jack/Daniel & Sirius/Remus
Challenge: Jack/Sirius, serious
Summary: PWP with angst
Dedication: For my sekrit wife, [livejournal.com profile] roadrunner1896 on her birthday
Notes: When I asked what Roadie'd like in a birthday fic she chose to be difficult, muddled up all her choices, and left me with word soup. I'm a sadistic, stubborn bastard so I took that as a challenge. Which means we have this—Four Fics I Would Never Write. This is just Part 1.

Firewhiskey to Forget is now part of a series.
Part 2: Sixteen Hundred Miles, PG-13, Jack/Daniel
Part 3: Soft Private Places, NC-17, Remus/Sirius


i. Firewhiskey to Forget )


~Comments and feedback are appreciated.

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